Ratchet and Clank: A Crank in Fk in Your BEAUTYFALL Pregnancy Test
by AlternateUniverseExplorer
Summary: My last purposely bad fanfic hopefully. XD
Jokes aside folks. According to radical SJWs on Tumblr, the title may be offensive to pregnant women in real life. Anyway, this truly will be a completely unnecessary sequel, just like the last piece of crap crossover fanfic that was also a completely unnecessary sequel. But hopefully it will not be as unnecessary as Sonic Adventure 3. Oops! The intro p*ssed off a lot of Sonic fanboys.

On with the story, the poor sexy lombacks and his robot secks buddy had no choice but to live with Captain Qwark after a not so horny Barney burned down their house….with Mario's fire flowers…and snake blood. And also Dr. Nefarious playing on his Sexbox 369, unable to stop thinking about Courtney Gears.

"Clank." Ratchet whispered. "I have an announcement to make."  
"What is it, my sexy yellow lombax with a nice ass and sexy pack of abs?" Clank asked,  
"After all this f**king time of you us f**king and you yearning to stroke my wrench and play with my groovitrons once again…I have become pregnant."

I know what you're all thinking. Ratchet is a boy cat alien. Boys cannot get pregnant. Robots cannot have babies with organics. Oh well. F**k gender roles, f**k specie roles and f**k biology. Clank was overjoyed! He began to celebrate by pole dancing once again, but this time on an actual pole in front of the now pregnant Ratchet, wearing one of Carmelita Fox's bras that he stole before this sh*ty fanfic series started. He giggled and thought about Ratchet's wrench and groovitions since he was the cutest robot in the freaking beloved gaming industry. The other robots threw bolts in front of him since Captian Qwark's house was now a robot strip club with Juliet Starling and the sh*ty recolour known as Metal Sonic as two special guests. Little did Qwark know that Ariel the Little Mermaid and Spongebob Squarepants had sneaked into his house/strip club to smoke sea weed, along with Klunk Jak and Daxtering off and playing with his USB while reading Gameboy magazines in the broom closet, making a mess that flowed under the door. The pregnant yellow cat alien will always love his little Iron Giant toaster friend that has skinny as hell arms and legs, who muttered to himself while pole dancing pole dancingly and noticing the mess,  
"I have a big oily USB. Just like my sh*ty recolour."

Meanwhile, our little red fuzzy friend from Sesame Street, Elmo discovered that he had hit puberty!  
"Oh Elmo's god!" he said. "Elmo has Jacob Black's abs and Justin Bieber's old hair!" Then, he went to lap dance on Barney the Purple Dinosaur, who suddenly burnt down another house and stole Ed, Edd and Eddy's jawbreakers  
"Elmo loves ruining childhoods!" he bellowed before throwing up Windows Movie Maker effects.

Well…that was pointless. There really is nothing more sinful than three purposely bad fanfics in a row. Anyway, it was not along until Daxter had an announcement. He and Jak somehow f*cked each other after discovering Mr. Pickles killing Freddy Fazbear and his crew. And in the distance, Princess Elise from Sonic O Secks somehow managed to kill a huge DeviantArt gallery of crappy Sonic and Amy recolours, then she decided to play some Pokeymon on her Playboy Advance SP. And lots of sims were getting killed in a huge ass fire and a big pool without a f**king ladder, causing the Grim Reaper to get stressed and sh*t.  
"That crazy dog must have been really jealous of the Five Night's at Freddy's crew were loved by millions on the internet while his cartoon was probably one of the most hated cartoons of the current generation. No wonder 90's kids betch and whine about it." Daxter's now pink-haired emo friend said, who then began to feel sad and even more emo. "Speaking of the current generation, they doesn't give ze flying f*ck about us anymore."  
"Awww, don't worry Jak." Daxter said, sounding rather nice and sweet for once. "I know what can cheer you up." The little orange thing cleared his throat…and placed his hand on his suddenly bloated tummie. "I'm pregnant, just like Ratchet." Rayman and Lara Croft came along to congratulate the little orange thing. But suddenly, Rayman kissed Lara and got her epicly preggers.

Meenwhyle, Conker the Squirrel was so damn outraged at what Microsoft did to him…again! He now looked so ugly that the Pokeymon died. The end.

WHAT?! WAIT! NO! We still have more crap to show you! GAWD DAMMIT!

(Anyway…nice and clam now...) Anyway, Black Doom rose from the dead for some reason and rick roll'd the little washed up squirrel, wearing KAITO's clothes and a Johnny Bravo wig to look sexier.  
"Never gonna give you up,  
Never gonna let you down!  
Never gonna run around and dessert you!"  
Never gonna make you cry,  
Never gonna say goodbye!  
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you!"

Turning around, Conker just stared at him for a few seconds. Little did he know that there was Slowpoke Mating Season behind them? Conker was going to ground Black Doom for rick rolling him like in those REALLY CREATIVE Go!Animate videos, but he had something more important to address, like how he addressed his sister's wedding dress. He just wanted to tell Black Doom the news. "Hey Black Doom." Conker said while some unused Yoshis threw up and pole danced in the distance. "You got me preggo last night. We're gonna be parents." It's weird how so many characters are getting pregnant at the same time, isn't it?

Many years later, Ratchet and Clank were finally married and had the most badass kids who ever rocked the freaking beloved gaming industry and the huge ass fanfiction universe! They were two twins, one a boy who idolized Justin Bieber and the other a girl who wrote annoying breakup songs like Taylor Swift did. Along with Sly and Sonic's son who wore an orange parka and often died, Captain Qwark's adopted daughter who turned out to be the fifth-thousandth Alice who just got back from taking a sh*t, Elmo's adopted son who was a mega baby, Princess Elise's adopted daughter who loved to play Call of Duty the 13th, Rayman and Lara's daughter who wanted to be like Kim Kardashian, Jak and Daxter's son who was a bit of a dooshbag, Conker and Black Doom's son who got fired from IGN and the dog-vakkum cleana hybrid that Mr. Pickles and his new secks toy vakkum cleana created, they were a group of badass, beautifully designed and definitely original children that were ready to be awesome and hopefully work hard at school. The happy couples and children all lived together at Nickelodeon Suites Resort. No copyright lawsuits required. The happy couples remembered when their little angels used to turn all of the trash cans into chocolate factories. And Ariel and Spongebob still smoked seaweed. Sonic would often thinking about his ex-galfriend Princess Elise, but their kiss was the cause of the writer's version of Cards against Humanity, Cards Against the Gaming Industry.

Nobody has thought of already existing characters having children in fanfiction before, right? Fanmade children are completely original, right? This trilogy of Ratchet the sexy yellow lombacks losing his V-card to Clank the sometimes little pole-dancing robutt and other dramatic and romantic bullsh*t happening is a truly fantastic and well written series, right? And so the 10 terrific children will soon have their own COMPELTELY ORIGINAL best-selling IPs, despite being offsprings of already existing characters from already existing IPs. No one will give a sh*t if they become Mary-Sues/Gary-Stus. They had no doubt that their series will be more popular than Minecraft, Undertale, Five Nights at Freddy's and the Angry Birds combined. And don't worry. They also believe that the endings of each of their games won't be like the Mass Effect 3 ending, unless the kids get grounded grounded grounded for 12457776330000508900123004 years.

The end. 'Nuff said.

…

AW SH*T! THE F**KING B*TCH WRITER FORGOT TO COMPLETELY CAPTIALISE A F**KING PARAGRAPH! NOW THAT THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY, THE WRITER WILL PROMISE YOU THAT THIS WILL BE THE LAST F**KING STORY ABOUT YOUR FAVE VIDEO GAME STARS GOING ON CRAZY ADVENTURES, DOING WOOHOO AND CRAP! NO MOAR! THIS TYPE OF SH*T WRITING IS NOT FUNNY ANYMOAR! IT'S GONNA REMAIN A F**KING TRILOGY 4EVAAAAAAAAA!

Goodnight, betches. :)


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